“I’ll smash your f****** face in!” I’d only been sat in The Square Peg for a couple of minutes before things started to kick off. This is, of course, the most notorious Wetherspoon in the city - but the sight of a man getting dragged out by his collar, throwing aimless punches at a member of staff was still a shock at 1pm on a Wednesday afternoon.
Today was the first day of the Wetherspoon’s Christmas Menu - and based on this man’s violent outburst, the festive cheer hadn’t quite reached the Square Peg as of yet. Regardless, I took my seat in the now rather tense pub and had a browse of the festive treats on offer.
As part of the new Christmas Menu, customers can get their hands on traditional turkey dinners, festive burgers, paninis, seasonal pizzas and a traditional mince tart to finish. Granted, as far as Christmas days out in Birmingham go, a Spoons' dinner might not be high on your list of priorities - but is it worth making the trip? We think so.
The Square Peg was once dubbed ‘the worst pub in Birmingham’ , but I couldn’t fault the service on my visit today. I ordered myself a turkey dinner and a pint from the comfort of my chair using the nifty app, all for the oddly specific price of £14.67.
The festive fist-fight I’d witnessed hadn’t quite put me in the best of moods for my first Christmas dinner of the year, but the swift arrival of my pint made me feel a lot more at ease. My food arrived about 10 or so minutes later.
On my plate was five slices of turkey, a healthy dollop of mashed potato, two pigs in blankets, a healthy serving of peas, some stuffing, seasonal veg and a bowl of cranberry sauce. On the food, I can’t say I was blown away, but I won’t say I was left disappointed either.
What really impressed me was the quality of the turkey. Often quite a dry meat, this turkey was succulent and juicy - and tasted great with a dollop of that rich and sweet cranberry sauce.
Another highlight was the gravy, just the right consistency, nicely seasoned and generously poured over the meat and vegetables. On the vegetables, they were okay, the carrots did the job, as did the peas.
After sampling a honey roasted carrot at a gastro-pub earlier this year, it’s fair to say any carrot now feels a bit underwhelming in comparison - but you won’t find anything to dislike here. The stuffing, likewise, was decent - nothing life-changing but a nice accompaniment to the meal.
What let this meal down slightly was the mash potatoes. Lumpy and rather dry, it was a bit of trudge to get through by the end. As controversial as this may be, I don’t think mash belongs anywhere near a Christmas dinner - ditch the mash and bring in some roasties and this meal would have been elevated to another level.
If you’re still reading this, thank you for sticking with me. Now, onto the pigs in blankets. For me, pigs in blankets are the highlight of any roast dinner - but they failed to reach the heights I was hoping for here. Very small and slightly overdone, the bacon lacked a real crisp and the sausage itself was dry. They weren’t awful, don’t get me wrong, but it felt like a missed opportunity.
All in all, however, I have to say I enjoyed my Spoons' turkey dinner. I realise it’s not reinventing the wheel to say a Wetherspoon meal was good value for money, but for £15 I couldn’t have asked for more.
After spending £12 on a beer and bratwurst at the German Christmas Market and feeling underwhelmed (and still quite hungry), it was nice to walk home from Wetherspoon with a full belly, for around the same price. This meal is also available with a soft drink for just £13.20.
I’m not saying you should ditch the Christmas Market for Wetherspoon - there's some amazing food and drink to try at the German market, and the experience can feel truly magical at times. Plus, you’re far less likely to begin your meal dodging punches at the Christmas market.
However, if you’re looking to get the most out of your money this Christmas, the Wetherspoon festive menu won’t let you down. At a time when people around the country are struggling to make ends meet, a nice, cost-friendly dinner at Wetherspoon makes for a lovely, and lively, day out.
